“You asked, and I said I couldn’t tell you, but I needed to somehow, so I created a dirty, pretty piece of art around the truth, singing half truths and no truths and happier endings than there’d ever really been. The words were there, but they couldn’t come out.
You asked and you asked and you wasted me, my time.
So I asked you. And I came to know everything.
You spoke, and the sounds that you made fell into my mouth and I could taste your words and your tongue and feel your hands and they burned my skin because I was afraid because I didn’t know you, because I didn’t know who you would be when I put my sounds in your mouth and let you taste them for yourself.
Because they felt like acid in me
They had scratching fingers and they clawed and clawed and clawed their way through my lungs and made it so hard to breathe.
They scratched higher and higher and higher and got stuck
In my windpipe
And they spit fire
At my esophagus.
My throat was raw and it left a rasp on my voice you told me
Was so sexy
That you wanted me
so bad
So bad
And from your mouth you threw up these ideas you had about me, your fantasy of
A sweet girl
Who just wanted you
Who would show you her chest and let you burn it with your fingers and the tobacco under your nails over and over and over because that’s all you wanted.
But she wasn’t real
You lied to yourself
So my sounds came up and I couldn’t smother them so I threw them up into your mouth and you were so quiet. You were already gone but I could feel you from miles away
Tasting them,
Rolling them over your tongue,
Chewing them
And you spit them out
And I never heard from you again.
I was fine
I am fine
BecauseIKnowNowINeverWantedYou
My Surrounding 